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Half Drunk Challenge

December 7, 2009 19 comments

I am writing this first paragraph BEFORE the half-drunk part to explain the idea behind this. Momalom.com is hosting this blog carnival and encouraging their readers t0 drink and write. Don’t censor, don’t hold back. Let our hair down and let it roll. So, for those of you that know me in “real life”, don’t be startled if this is not what you expect or if it is a bit embarrassing (for me or for you). Please don’t hold it against me, that is for sure. It is an experiment in personal growth… like a blogger’s Spring Break party maybe? I hope it is fun and interesting, maybe a little naughty. I DEFINITELY hope it isn’t boring… what would that say about me?? So, I will close this part, go tip a few back and be back later to bare my soul…

Turn off Mommy before you turn me on!

– oh and family may want to turn the other way!!

I KNOW I am not the only one out there who thinks about this… switching gears, or trying to at least… no, not the car (I manage a stick shift like a pro.. wink wink)… no, I mean when the munchkin turns in, “Mommy” doesn’t just turn off. You know what I mean… right? I wish I could write on here that I am a total rock star in the bedroom (well I can be, but I mean one that is always ready and willing). I wish I could say my desire burns constantly! Ah, but reality isn’t so friendly is it? They say that women need to feel loved to have sex and men need sex to feel loved. I need more than love, I need to find one of my other personalities. I have to forget the mommy, wife, head of the house and find the old “naughty schoolgirl” in there somewhere. I will say that nothing silences “Mommy” faster than a few drinks…

This has gotten a little better with some time (when I don’t have mono and he doesn’t have deadlines), but I assure you that A would pounce like a puppy if I told him we were going to improve things NOW. At least now I can be touched without cringing because I have had a baby attached to me ALL DAMN DAY and would like some fucking personal space for 5 fucking minutes!! Oh, do I sound bitter? Thank god A was an understanding and sympathetic chap when M was a baby or we never would have made it. I know he thinks sex and the bedroom are the last things on my mind, but in all honest truth I think about it constantly. But for me it is often thinking “I wish I wanted it more” instead of “I want it now”. I don’t know how to fix that still. I guess there is the old saying “Just Do It” but where is the fun in that? I love my husband and I think he is a total hottie! I want to want him ALL THE TIME! If I could just get over the bills, the kid, the house, the work, the dog, the this the that…. blah blah blah. I am a mental person… wait… I mean I am a thinker (well probably both). So, things are constantly going on in my head and it is hard to shut them off. But, as I mentioned, the hardest is M. So, our best nights for frisky love is getting M out of the house and us on a date. (You do see the issue here being that we are Attached Parents?) I will give myself a pat on the back though. When I do get “Mommy” turned off, I can really get him turned on. I have been known to send racy texts and pictures, not afraid to hook up in the car, and might have shown up in his office wearing a little Mrs. Claus number. So, I’m not a slacker! I guess, just like he would say if you asked him, I just wish it were easier and more.

So, how do you keep the love alive? And be honest, is this a battle you fight? Just about everyone I know has admitted to at least a temporary slack and I wonder what the real truth would be if they were blogging drunk. 😉 Are you worried that this could be the ONE thing that is/could cause problems in your marriage? I feel lucky that I trust my husband 100% but there is always that little part in the back of my mind that worries he will get fed up. It is that part that causes me to have horrible dreams of him finding someone else sometimes.

So, here’s to the couple-drink-needing-Goddess locked inside Mommy each day and to the ever more regular release of her into the wild. Oh, and to cringing as I realize who will actually be reading this…

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